Rainbows and Unicorns

They call it Minnesota nice for a reason. People you have never met will smile at you, say hello to you, ask you how you're doing and some will go as far as to compliment you on every element of your life, whether their assertions true or not.  To some it can be suffocating, but to many, especially those of us from Minnesota, it's comforting.  Feeling that sense of community and LOVE from people who genuinely have a lot of love to give.

It's a characteristic of the Midwest I have grown to miss. The optimism, simplicity and everyday happiness that you feel while standing in the middle of a corn field or laughing in your sweatpants over coffee, with a friend or often times someone you have just met while standing in line.

Moving out to Boston six years ago and jumping into the unknown East Coast community has proven to be quite different.  At first it took a lot of getting used to.  Not everybody smiles at you while you pass by, not everybody says hello to you just to say hello and forget it if you get a compliment because your shirt really is that cool.  Not that it's a bad thing, it's a different environment, with a different history and varying set of values. Neither culture better than the other, just different.

I'm currently in Arizona visiting my grandparents, all four of them. There is something peaceful about being the only one under 50 in this complex. It's an interesting dynamic to observe, unique conversation to be a part of with varying perspectives on life, respect and love.

This morning my grandfather found out a close friend of his passed away. His reaction was "God dammit, I just talked to him before I came down here. He was one if the nicest guys." Then, five minutes later "God dammit." While loss of his friends is getting more and more common in his 75th year, it was fascinating observing such a sad moment in my grandfathers life. There were no tears, no complaints, just an abundance of stories about this man that I had never met before but felt like I knew so much about simply by listening. I learned he was a nice guy, 'one of the nicest guys that lived'.  He would help anybody and he always had a positive outlook on his life.

It got me to thinking about my next blog post, this one. Why is it people have such a difficult time showing love, lending a helping hand or offering a simple smile to people they do not know? Not all people, but I would say more young people have this idea that love is this four letter word that can only be touched when this amazing-once-in-a-lifetime-person comes into your life.

I understand, as I've been told more than several times in my life that "it's not realistic" for everyone to get along and that I'm too optimistic and that that's just not how life is.  But, love is only a four letter word and showing someone love is as simple as a quiet good morning smile. It's as simple as a one sentence email wishing an old friend a good day or a genuine thank you to the person replacing the paper towel rolls in the bathroom at work. It's those little gestures that make a persons' day and spreads a little love where it may have not been before.

While LOVE does carry varying levels of meaning when used in certain contexts and is used by different people in many different ways, what is wrong with simply loving?  Loving your friends, your family, your significant other, the people you work with, or a stranger on the street you have just met?

I challenge you to tell someone you love them today.  Or better yet, show someone you love them with a simple gesture.  After the tragic Sandy Hook event that took place in December, members of the Facebook and Twitter community started spreading #26actsofkindness.  While, it was nice and thoughtful, why did it take such a tragic event for everyday people to start showing love?

Spread love today.  You will be surprised by the people you may meet.  It's amazing what that simple four letter word can do for someone. If that's too difficult I urge you to smile at someone today. A simple smile, it's free, beautiful, and can be a day maker for many.

Lets start creating a few more rainbows and unicorns in this world. Today. As Buddha says, "The trouble is, you think you have time."

So much LOVE,

Abby


This post was inspired by many little things that happened yesterday:

1)This video, which is awesome. You’ll Never Believe What These Adults Found In This Ball Pit

2)The song Hold On by Wilson Phillips, which came on my iPod at least three times yesterday. "Just open your heart and your mind."

3) And my grandparents, all four of them, who have taught me so many simple life lessons. 

What school is for some.

I just received the news that we have another snow day tomorrow. Nemo has really run it's course in Boston.  From little fish to big snow storm to say the least.

At first, I jumped with joy. Literally, jumped.  I was talking to one of my mentors/former employers on the phone and she said, "You don't have to work tomorrow, right?" I said I in fact did -but went on the school website, while we were talking and sure enough it said school closure - So I screamed, "No no, I don't have to work tomorrow, how did you know? Oh, I'm so excited."

She went on to explain, because I need your help. "Will you watch Lucas tomorrow? Daycare is closed."  

Backup to this morning around 10:00 a.m. I received a text from two of my students inquiring about school's status for tomorrow.  I assured them we do have school.  "See you tomorrow." The picture below shows my student's reaction. 

(notice the sad face)

For some of my students, the reaction they have to a school closure is dramatically different than mine, described above. They LOVE coming to school.  They like to be surrounded by teachers who care about them and their friends, whom they can have fun conversations and be kids for a few hours - an escape from reality.  

Working in an urban, low-income school district, has given me a new perspective on the importance of school and education. It has made me realize how many children in the United States, take school for granted.  It has also made me realize the impact one can have as an educator.  As an educator we are not just people who show up everyday to implant knowledge and information into students' minds or help them pass a test. There is an entirely other purpose for us to play in a child's life.  As an educator, we have the opportunity to be a stable wall for children to lean on, learn from and open up to when so many times they feel left alone in the world.   And, let me tell you, the world is a gigantic place, especially for a fourteen, fifteen or sixteen year old or even nineteen year old. 

It first occurred to me on Friday, when I walked into my seventh period class and announced "No School Tomorrow."  A handful of students erupted in cheer, a few just sat there, and more than I thought were disappointed in not having school tomorrow.  I heard whispers such as, "I don't like being at home." "I like coming to school miss."  "I'm sad miss."  Not the reactions I was used to.  Snow days,  when I was in high school, were celebrated, anticipated, and never questioned. 

School, for my students, is one of the only constants in their life. If implemented correctly and efficiently, a classroom can be a place for structure - consistency.  A place where students can experience routine and have a sense of power.  A classroom, is the one place, YOU, as an educator can create a community, where students feel safe, wanted, trusted and heard.   

So while for some, school is just a place to go, roll through the motions and use as an entrance into college, for others, it is a home.  It is that place where they can try to act out, where they can cry for attention and where they can begin to mold into a leader.  It is a place to test their limits, realize their potential, and reach goals that at one time felt unobtainable. 

It is a place my students can come and feel at home.  I will be back tomorrow, and the next day and the next day, to teach them again, listen to them again, provide structure for them again, lecture them again, give them consequences again, shake my head at them again, smile again, but above everything else, I will be there, for them, again.

A thought from the confused 23 year old...

23 is such an interesting age.  I suppose the early 20's in general is.  I'm turning 24 in three weeks and I have a feeling my thoughts and feelings will be relatively similar, accept I'm turning my favorite number, my golden number.

As a person in their early 20's I've found life to be utterly confusing.  I know it's probably only as confusing as you make it and when you analyze everything like myself... well. But, I do think, in general, it's a challenging time in life.  It's like all of a sudden you are thrown off this life boat with no flotation device and told to swim and to keep swimming until you find some land or something stable to stand on.

Our whole lives we grow up with an agenda.  It is a lose agenda for some but, for a lot of people, I know we have always been following this plan.  We begin to build our foundation in elementary school, stumble through our awkward "think we're adults," to cool for school, middle school years and then onto the top to prove to everyone we are the best.  After high school, many of the people I grew up with, myself included, knew we were going to go to college.  For me, it wasn't an option.  After college though, what should one do?  Get a job?  Go back to school? Move home or move in with the person they're dating?  When does one get married?  How do you know they are the one?  Can I go out on a Thursday, or will I be suffering at work on Friday?  Is this job really for me?  What if I never find anyone?  What am I doing?  Where do I want to live? Is it really this impossible to meet new people, or do I have something on my face? Should I move to a new city like all my friends have?

After college, we are cut from our structured society and forced to fend for ourselves.  But, how does one do that when they are unsure of what they want, who they want, when they want it?

Those are questions I think about a lot. I also know, however, that there is no complete answer to them.  As Emerson said, "Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."  We are all following our own desires and carving out our own stories.

I have discovered though, that break-ups hurt a lot more when you're finished with your structured agenda, sleep becomes more necessary, and finding happiness in the little things is almost essential to everyday breath.

I have also uncovered a few other lessons this past year including but not limited to: love is going to come to you when you least expect it through friendships, family and perhaps even "the one".  If you're living your life others are going to want to join in and will be drawn to your personality.  "Life is so damn short.  For f$%k sake. Just do what makes you HAPPY."  Finding a passion brings your soul alive.  Listen to your heart because it's usually right.  And listen to those around you because often times they are teaching you a lesson. If you're unhappy change something, it's never too late.  Smile, even when you're sad.  Be proud of who you are and who you are becoming.  Never stop learning, questioning.  Love yourself because you can't fully love somebody else until you are happy with YOU.  Give 100% at everything you do. And LEARN TO LET GO.. because liberating yourself is usually the first step in experiencing true happiness.

Above all else.  Know you are not alone.  There are at least 24 other confused 20-something year-olds feeling at least 10 of the same emotions you are.

Glimpses of pure happiness this week.

Absolute Beauty.

Showing my students they CAN go to college. 

Pure Innocence. 

Keep your friends close. Real close.